ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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