Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
