Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
