i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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