Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize