And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
