Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
