Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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