Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
