Swine flu. Run for my life!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
