I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
