What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
