She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
