Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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