I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
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Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
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I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.