Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?

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(573): View more from Missouri

worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple

(404): View more from Georgia

i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs

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(313): View more from Michigan

No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!

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(512): View more from Texas

the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol

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(330): View more from Ohio

God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms

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(815): View more from Illinois

Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.

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