I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
