No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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