And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.