i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
