she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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