youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
