I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
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hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize