hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize