Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
