How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
