is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
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i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
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On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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