Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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