i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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