im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
