just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
