So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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