the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize