you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
