i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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