doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
