This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize