You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
