She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
