how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
