He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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