I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
