How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
