Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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