His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
