hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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