You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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