we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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