I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
