so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
