i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
