So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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