i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
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We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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