Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
