Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
