Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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