oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
