my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Mom said you looked used
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize