So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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