tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
