Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
