well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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