He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
