i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
