I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
