Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
