I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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