if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
