So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
