my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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