there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
