im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
