I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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