Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Who died my cat blue again?
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