Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize