hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
