Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
