I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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