Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
