I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
